Monday, June 21, 2010

The first day of summer = GUILT

Full Time Employment + The First Day of Summer = GUILT.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. In my dream world, those are the days I would like to work!

Yesterday's Star Tribune had an insert featuring their findings on Minnesota's top companies to work for. Mark's employer rated 8th among publicly held companies. My employer rated 3rd among private and non-profit companies. We both can attest to the claims, and are proud of the places we work. We both like our jobs and our employers.

But... there is so much guilt in working full time and raising kids. Mark and I need to work to support our chosen lifestyle. We do not plan to change how we live. We love our children too, and strive to find the balance.

Mark has worked in retail since before we married. It suits his personality and fits him. That being said... working some nights, some weekends, and some holidays is par for the course. Except for the one year Mark was unemployed (and stayed home with our babies), I have tried to accept changing our plans, or him missing or leaving holidays or family events early. Sometimes I do not do well with this.

On the same token, I languish in my own guilt every summer evening, and every weekday morning. TODAY is the first day of summer. Summer is a glorious time in Minnesota. My kids want to stay outside and play later. They want to soak it up. They don't want to get up in the morning. They don't want to go to daycare. They tell me this most mornings. I don't blame them! I want to go to the park, or the lake, or the pool, or meet up with friends too! I want them to be able to stay up later, sleep in longer, and live life to the fullest (3 year old style).

We left the wonderful Father's Day event we were attending yesterday before all the other guests. We needed to get home. Life is like this sometimes. It isn't the way we want it to be.

So there you have it. There is no resolve. I will live with my acute guilt (culminating to the an extreme on Sunday evenings). I will go to work for an employer that is good to me. We will pay our bills. I will start over again each Monday, and the consecutive week days forth... The guilt will stay.

Any words of insight? I'll take them.

Saturday afternoon riding the Ferris Wheel at Brooklyn Park Tater Daze carnival. (After Mark returned from an exhausting work day way up in Duluth for Grandma's Marathon.)

Marly liked the ride better then Dad!

1 comment:

MollyinMinn said...

Ah yes. Who knew, there we were, chatting away and mulling over the same unsaid things.


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