As I got ready for work this morning and looked around my home, I realized yesterday was a perfectly good Sunday. It was a comfortable day with simple pleasures. The unfortunate part is that I didn't take note of this YESTERDAY.
Sunday we got up and eventually headed out the door to church. We were a few minutes late, but we still were not the last to enter the sanctuary. We got home and I set to work changing the sheets. This turned into a wild rumpass for the whole family, with lots of giggles and jumping. Mark left to run errands and I fed the kids lunch. Heated up leftovers - easy breezy. Soon it was nap time next. The kids were down like a charm. Mark returned and there was even a few minutes of rest for both of us. Next Mark headed to the library, and I walked the kids down to the playground. Dean and Marly loved their winter swing and slide time. More giggles and smiles. After that, Mark made one of my favorite pasta meals, and the kids liked it too. Next it was bath time. Marly and Dean discovered a new way to get a greater amount of water outside the tub in a faster fashion. More giggles and I was soaked. Bedtime went quickly and then I was on to cleaning up the kitchen. I was exhausted, but I managed to get the rugs vacuumed, laundry folded and mostly put away, a meatloaf prepped for the oven for Monday, and to see enough of Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters to follow the story line.
Although mundane, this was a great Sunday all around! But, where was my mind and emotions as I finished my day and prepared for bed myself? Instead of relishing the delight twin toddler's bring to Mark's and my life, I allowed myself to experience anxiety, anger and fear. I was thinking about things in the future I cannot control and mistakes of the past I cannot change. Instead of seeing the world through Marly and Dean's shining, happy eyes, I clung to more negative thoughts. I did indeed note the giggles and find great gratification throughout the day, yet as evening wrapped up while alone with my husband, my mind was in a much more unpleasant place.
This morning as I put away the last of the clean laundry and started another load, I realize I have surely slipped out of the Gratitude Groove. Yesterday was filled with blessings. I will pray to God that he guides me today. I will also pray that I allow myself to live the joy in each passing moment.
As I write all of this, I suspect many of my emotions will resonate with other 30 something mom's out there trying their darnedest to get it mostly right in the world. I am sure I am not alone in my thoughts on a Sunday night, and I acknowledge and give thanks for my gifts.
2 comments:
Well your anxiety was felt in my mind and body last nite too. I saw this on Twitter like 10 minutes ago, and thought you would also enjoy reading this list. I might just print it off!
http://seeinggood.com/50-things-you-can-control-right-now/
You are surely not alone in your Sunday night anxiety. I often feel it as I dread having to go to my much despised job on Monday morning and find that the thought of having to go to work often ruins my whole day. I too need to do better with being grateful for the little, mundane things that bring joy, like how much I love it when Vivi lays her little head on my shoulder just before I lay her down for the night in her crib. Those are the true little blessings in life. Hang in there!
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