Am I my Mother? Mother's Day reflections

I spent years after my mom died having people tell me I looked just like her. I think on one or two occasions after she died, I may have startled one or two people I love, tricking them into thinking SHE was there, as if she always should be.

To this day, when I return home, I sometimes have older adults I don't know tell me they know me. Oh yes - You are Marlys's daughter! (I am SURE my mom was always skinnier than I am now. I weigh too much and my face is much rounder then it should be.)

But - what I REALLY wonder is if I am JUST LIKE HER on the INSIDE. Is my heart hers?  As time passes, we naturally tend to idolize those who leave us too soon. We remember ALL their best attributes. We remember the smiles. We remember the good. We remember the nice things they did. For me, this is most certainly true of my mom.

I remember her for much MORE then what she was to me, or Brett, or my Dad. I remember what she was to her parents, the women (and men) from our family, my cousins, her friends, our neighbors, the church, and to Brett's and my friends.

I remember her doing whatever needed to be done at our tiny country church. I remember her adding lots of sugar (the sugar beet farmer's wife brought from home) to the red Kool-Aid at Bible School. She spent time in the kitchen there every day, and soooo much more, from music to crafts and programming. She helped with Sunday School for years and years and years.  I remember her mowing the lawn around the grave stones in the cemetery, and serving at every funeral.

I remember her caring for her mom and dad. I remember every Saturday in my younger years at my grandparents' house, doing the weekly cleaning, shopping, then setting grandma's hair. I remember adding most every Sunday for more than 12 years visiting my grandma at the nursing home when she needed much more care, then later my grandpa. She set grandma's hair at the Buffalo Lake Nursing Home too (and other ladies as well, if the regular beautician went on vacation, or there was no beautican. My mom was known for her back-combing skills).

I remember haircuts and perms for any and all (men and women, young and old) in the middle of our kitchen, and on a moments notice  if necessary (after 10 pm when my cousin Matt was working late in the field planting the night before prom). I remember hair cuts in England for a few college friends when she came to visit me at the castle I lived in while studying abroad. I remember my mom working her stain-removing-laundry-magic in our castle laundry room for my friend Amy, who had accidentally washed her wardrobe with a tube of red lipstick. My mom kept at it (during her English family vacation) until everything was spotless. In fact, she came prepared with some Shackley products! This was EXACTLY what she wanted to be doing and how she found the most satisfaction.

I remember her dotting on all my brother's friends, and especially Steve after his little brother died from an ATV accident. I remember her visiting my sorority house and calmly trapping a bat my friend Holly discovered in her kitchen cupboard. She scooped it into a Tupperware and promptly tossed it into a snow bank with a smirk on her face. Then my mom and dad took us ALL out to eat, since Holly only had mac' n cheese in the cupboard.

I remember her sitting with her sister Toots several nights each week, at the bedside of my uncle Jon who died of cancer in hospice care. When another aunt was sore from cancer treatments, my mom came by to wash her hair and do some cleaning at her house. I remember she ALWAYS offered to be the "kitchen crew" for showers, graduations or open houses, including the neighbor kid's down the road. I remember how much my girl cousin's seemed to enjoy their aunt's company, even when they were teen-agers.

I could go on and on...

Today I am just shy of 40. That means I am about 8 or 9 years younger then my mom was when she died. I have kids of my own, but so often I still I feel like that 20 something I was when she left us. I wonder how to "grow up" to be like her.

Am I like her? Do I care enough? Do I give enough? Am I as self-less as she seemed to be? (NO!)  Do I give enough of my time to family, with out even thinking about it? Can I sense what my friend's or family need, and somehow react to it in a way you barely notice she was there? Am I the kind of mom my mom would want me to be? Am I teaching my kids to care for others like she demonstrated to me most every day, so naturally?

I know I "feel" so much emotion from others all around me... but then what.

This Mother's Day I will put it all down here. I will reflect. I will try harder...

While I continue to dye my hair red with the same brand of  L'oreal color my mom used on her own short do, I will do my best to model her in the ways of the heart too.

Easter 2014

We started our Easter with the usual search for baskets, hunt for candy filled eggs, and those requisite pictures in our Sunday pastels finest, before heading to Peace Lutheran for church.

 Believe it or not, most of the kids attire this Easter was THRIFTED (and last year no less)!!!

Looking fine!

Back inside, we hosted Sunday dinner for the Thompson Family. The napkins are handkerchiefs from Micheal's Craft, tied with some twine string, with a friendly little Peep added to each plate.

We served the usual ham, cheesy potatoes and all those tasty, fattening items to go with it. Not to toot my own horn, but the ham was delicious. I slathered it in a creamed honey before I put it in the oven, then basted is several times in the last half hour with more honey, the juices, and the dried mix that came with it.

Pat coordinated family photos. Of course Marly was in Crocs by this point and Dean had ditched his vest.

Cousins! Declan's First Easter

 We spent the beautiful, warm, sunny April afternoon playing games on the lawn.

We even had an egg toss.

...which was a hit for young and old.

BEER-cation

 In early April, Jeremy and boys planned a "beer pong tournament" for us. That's code for beer tasting around Minneapolis. Jeremy was serious about our adventure. He even sent us all an  app called "untappd" to download in advance, in preperation.

Our couples Beer-cation started on a sunny spring Saturday at Northbound Smokehouse & Brewpub in south Minneapolis. BEST Onion Rings EVER. Good beer too.

 Next stop - Harriett Island Brewery (which is nothing more then a garage, with a leaky ceiling and some thrift store tables and chairs). Least favorite beer of our 5 visits, and it had nothing to do with the atmosphere.

Beer-cation happened to coordinate with our wedding annivesary. We make a cute couple in this photo. Next up we cruised to Steel Toe Brewery in St. Louis Park, and then on to Nord'east Mpls.

Indeed!

We actually spent time in a que at a majority of the brew pubs we visited. Beer sampling is THE hot ticket in town!

 Our beer scene is notable nationwide.

 The real theme of the day was "FUN with FRIENDS.

 We had an absolute BLAST.

 Great beer. Great smiles. Great laughs. 

 Great couples.

Aftre Indeed, we were on to Dangerous Man...then walked two blocks for dinner reso's at NE Social. We dined at  Mark's FAVORITE restaurant for his 41st Birthday and our 11th Anniversary.

Believe it our NOT, the night was still not over. 

We headed back to the Lyon's for an over-night, but not before stopping at King's Wine bar for... a GLASS OF WINE!!!!??????

Coco Beach - Orlando 2014

We took one day away from the Orlando park action to spend a day at the beach!

 

It was cloudy and cool, so Coco Beach was quiet in general when we arrived mid-morning.

 

 

The kids ran and played. Mark and I relaxed and rested.

 

 

The kids buried me in the sand.

 

We headed to the the touristy peir for lunch. It was less than  70 degrees, so the spring breakers were still tucked inside nursing their hang overs.

 

After lunch ( & cocktails), the kids spent the rest of the afternoon frolicking in the chilly surf.  I drifted off and snoozed on my towel, and returned to Orlando with a nice sunburn!

battle wounds

Marly got her first ever battle wound and stitches this week.

I got a call from the school nurse around 11 am on Monday.

Marly had fallen in class and probably needed stitches on her head.

The nurse was calm. I was calm. I will admit I actually chuckled. Every parent eventually gets a call like this, right??? These things happen. Many adults have a story about that nearly invisible scar, only they can see.

I finished up the e mail I was working on, stopped to say good-bye to my co-workers, and alerted them I probably wouldn't be back.

When I picked up Marly, she was so silent and looked terrified. We headed back across the river (I cross the Mississippi multiple times a day) to Urgent Care. 

Marly had been hearing everyone whisper "stitches" and was scared. We got an awesome doctor who was also a grandpa. Marly only cried when it was just the two of us, otherwise - she was a total TOUGH-ee.  The doctor returned. Marly hopped up on the table without hesitation, asked for my hand, squeezed tight when he injected the Novocaine, didn't move, didn't cry, and didn't flinch. The very brave patient came home with five or six stitches in the two gashes on her forehead (caused by a run in with a bookcase).

Ice cream makes EVERYTHING better. On the way home we stopped at McDonald's and got lunch and a Shamrock Shake. Us girls enjoyed a lovely spring lunch date on the patio back at  home, and we were both SMILING!

Saturday we returned to the clinic to get the stitches out. The same lovely nurse as Monday assisted us. She said Marly was probably the bravest/toughest/calmest girl to get stitches she had seen. I have been told from time to time, I have a high threshold for pain. (I really don't know how one can know that about themself....maybe I just KEEP CALM).

Marly is like me. She can KEEP CALM!

We are FAMILY!

The safari ride at Animal Kingdom.

After lunch at the Tusker House. Somehow we "magically' missed the rain.

 3D show in Fantasy Land at the Magic Kingdom

 The water sculpture at Epcot

Marly got us at Animal Kingdom. Mom with map (of course).

Who the heck knows????

The Jungle Ride at Magic Kingdom

At one of the awesome parades.

 CRABBY Marly on the shuttle bus at 9:00 am to the Animal Kingdom. 

Don't worry... It didn't last.

Marly declared our family friendly rental "The BEST, most luxurious car EVER"!! 

We "might" have ridden the tea cups on two separate visits to the park.

My dad RARELY looks happy in photos. (like almost NEVER). 

This is the last day of our vacation, just before we left the Magic Kingdom.

He kind of looks happy. WOW.

He swears he had a FANTASTIC time!

Mickey and Friends

Mickey at the Tusker House lunch at Animal Kingdom.

Pluto at our hotel breakfast!

Donald!

...and Daisy too!

Princesses? This girl is GA GA for Daisy and MINNIE!

We used our third FastPass at the Animal Kingdon to meet MINNIE! Marly had been asking to meet her at least ten times a day since we met Mickey the first night. She couldn't have been happier to meet Minnie. She was almost as excited to see Minnie in her RED polka dot dress with her trademark YELLOW shoes, from across the plaza, greeting guests, on our next visit back at the Magic Kingdom.

Notice Minnie in the background below at Epcot. Marly "might" have brought home Minnie sequin ears, this dress with pink ears, a Minnie key chain for her backpack (and a second one with Daisy), a Minnie pillow pet (from Nana), and a Minnie stuffed animal (purchase with the last of the birthday money she brought,  on our LAST day, just before heading to the airport). 

Just say'n

Goofy is a cool cat (dog) too. Not to be confused with Pluto (the other dog). We told the kids we would buy them ONE stuffed animal at Disney, and one t-shirt. Dean picked Pluto for his stuffed animal. Marly picked the lovely Lady. I wonder if the various dogs is a twin thing? When I was kid, mom and dad bought me Chip, and Brett picked Donald. 

Hugs from Mickey are the best!

Mickey and Minnie topiaries at Epcot for the Spring Flower Show!

Donald and Daisy, Mickey and Minnie, and so many friends at the parades!

Mickey for a snack.

Just Mickey's ears.

Mickey for breakfast!

And finally, you can even find Mickey on the man hole covers!

So long Mickey and Friends! We will miss you, and hope to return again!