Thursday, March 13, 2014

The "Friends" Birthday Party

Have I ever mentioned I HATE kid birthday parties. Ask anyone, there isn't much that I "hate". I truly dread them. I try and get into it. I try and get "excited" by going on to Etsy and choosing a custom invite to print, then spend another $3 to purchase the "icon" to add to the treat bags and cupcake toppers and such.
And then I print the invites and help the kids add the names, and I DREAD the expense and the chaos - the CHAOS!!
Dean wanted a bowling party, because 'ya know... he had so much fun at Alex's and so and so, and so and so, and you get it. Marly consented, because she didn't have a better idea in mind.  I suggested MANY alternatives, and still it was BOWLING.
I called around and settled on an independent bowling alley called Classic Lanes in Coon Rapids. Last year, I nearly LOST MY MIND when I took Dean to a Brunswick Bowl party, and needed to STAY to assist him due to the parent/plus family/plus school friends ratio. At one point ALL THE  KID PARTIES up and down the lanes were lead in some obnoxious song and dance together.
 OH NO!!! There was no WAY I was paying for one of those mass audience parties. Please note,  I have NO OBJECTION what so ever to any parent  who hosts one for their child. Invite my kids. They will be thrilled! I just don't like being at them myself, which is why I cannot bring myself to host one, because I would be required to stay. (I will probably eat my words next year. I get it)
And so I booked someplace less "cookie cutter". I brought in cupcakes and balloons, and beads, and popcorn treat bags to take home, and sippy cups labelled with their names, which was filled from countless pitchers of Sprite, giving them a massive SUGAR SURGE!
And the CRAZY kids bowled, ate pizza, GUZZLED more sprite, opened gifts, and ate cupcakes.
Oh yes...and Dean questioned WHY we weren't at Brunswick... the "cool" bowling alley!
Marly with her bestie - Izzi
Then they bowled a bit more, while I checked the time on my cell phone incessantly, counting down the minutes 'til the parent's would arrive to pick up their children, and we could pack up.

I looked around and wondered if anyone would notice if I ordered a pitcher of beer for Mark and I (or maybe a cocktail would be more discreet?). For all we spent, surely the bowling alley could  throw in a complimentary pitcher for Mark and me in sympathy and support??? (better make it one pitcher EACH!)
Two Hours of my life and Two Hundred and some dollars later that I will NEVER get back, and it was FINALLY over. ($200 does NOT including the invites, cupcakes, name labelled sippy cups, balloons, or popcorn treat bags)

PLEASE remind me NEXT YEAR we will are going some other route to honor their birth, because this was like some sort of corporal punishment for choosing to give them life.

...and to endure some sort of mass party with too many 7 (or eight) year olds will surely set me OVER THE EDGE if  I were to endure it again, and would just need to bring my own FULL bottle of wine and set it there right out in the open!!!

Go ahead parents - you go ahead and judge me!

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