Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I'm Sorry

To the individuals I caused distress while honking in my car today... I am SORRY.

You see, as I was leaving a lunch meeting this afternoon, I came upon a left hand turn, with an arrow light. As I approached, the arrow was green. As I moved forward, the car in front of me stood still. I thought the driver was distracted (perhaps like me sometimes on my cell phone when I shouldn't be, or digging for lipstick), so I lightly honked. For the record, I made four short honks. One would have sufficed.

Sill, the car did not move.

That is when I noticed a woman in a motorized wheelchair crossing the street with a companion.

The lady and her companion were significantly older than me. Finally they made it all the way across the walk, and the car in front of me turned safely. I could not turn because the light turned to full green. I waited until the oncoming cars passed and made my left hand turn. I felt aweful for my rude behavior.

The lady and her companion were working their way along the sidewalk, adjacent to the parking lot I was entering. I felt TERRIBLE. I slowed down, pulled over, and shouted out my passenger window. I told the man I was SORRY. I explained I did not see the lady or him. Again, I said, "I am soooo sorry!"

The man did not accept my apology. He response was unkind....

I apologized once again, and moved on.

I was not forgiven - and you know what, that is okay with me.

You see, I didn't apologize simply to make myself feel better. I wanted to make the people I wronged feel better. My apology did not do this.  Their hurt could not be so easily undone.That couple's life is more difficult than mine - tenfold.

 My life is one with a healthy body and and healthy mind. My life is full of blessings, in too many forms to list. My life is filled with joy. I do not walk in their shoes, or ride in their wheelchair.

But, I will say it again, "I am sorry for my impatience. I am sorry I honked at the car waiting to let you pass. I am sorry I hurt you when you already have so much pain in your life. I am sorry."

I am thankful I am Christian, and for a religion that teaches me to repent my sins, and then accept Grace.


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