3 pm on New Year's Eve

Well, we finally found someone willing to hang out with us (X 2 kids) on New Year's Eve! The Hagel Braids are coming for a kid friendly dinner and festivities. I had most things I needed on hand, but did make a Super Target run this morning. I drove out of my way to go to Super Target because I thought I would only need to load and unload the kids once. Let's face it.. two toddlers consume extrodinary amounts of time just to get out the door in winter. If only they allowed MN grocers to sell liquor inside their stores. (Lobbiests - are you reading this!)

Dinner menu - (check) Beef Stroganoff (in my crock pot since 9:30 am), fresh green beans, bread. That should do it. I have fresh salami from Costco, cheese, crackers and olives for snackie fair. Heidi is bring something desert orientated.

Table Setting and decorations - (check) Table is set with china and white napkins wrapped with that silver tinsel stuff 75% at Target. The kids have blue demin napkins. Also last night I took much of the red off the Christmas Tree and add silver tinsel stuff. I took the green garland off the banister and put up some silver garland stuff we use around New Year's Eve when entertaining.

Liquor - (Sort of)... I have red wine on hand, one bottle of champagne, vodka and tonic, and I asked Mark to pick up a bottle of white and another bottle of champagne on his way home. (Back to my rant that they should be able to sell liquor at the grocery store.) Yes, this is too much for 4 adults.

NYE fair including those cracker pull/pop things, annoying noise maker blowers, etc. specifically for the Dean, Marly and Cale (DAMN IT!) I have just discovered I left an entire bag of items I purchased at Super Target in my cart in the parking lot at Super Target (DAMN IT - Again!) Well... that was money well spent! GRRR... often I feel pleased with myself once I get BOTH Twinners back in the car and buckled in, since one of them always starts to cry about SOMETHING, and FOR SURE they will throw a fit about who gets which car seat. Today is was Dean bawling... and TODAY I left half my merchandise at the retailer. Here at home, I thought - Okay, I have a whole package of white balloons Mark had for something at the 'Bou. I'll spread those all over the floor downstairs. That will add some hoopla! (DAMN IT!) I think I recently asked Mark if he was going to bring those back to store. He must have listened to me for a change!

Too late now! We will have to go with it! Shoot - lemons and limes were in that bag too...

Wednesday after Christmas

Christmas has come and gone... and still no photos. I just don't have the patience this moment to download while the kids are napping. Actaully, I desperately want to catch just few minutes of rest myself. Afterall, this is my vacation time too. Honostly, I am typically too high strung to take a nap these days. I simply feel there are too many needs to attend to in my home, so even when I try, and can't relax enough to sleep.

Yesterday I hosted a play date for anyone who wasn't working. It was a delight to see my friend Molly with Charlie and Owen, Jenny with Vivi, and Gretch with the kids - and to have them for lunch. I really enjoyed getting time to talk with my gal pals while the kids played. Let's face it, having small children makes many of us feel a bit isolated, each in our own way, so I needed this time with them. Gretchen stayed overnight, so we got some real quality gab time too.

All is mellow today, but the kids still have snotty noises. I geared up the kids, pulled the sled up and down the street, and then we made snow angels. Mark would be happy to see me enjoying my precious time with my wee ones.

The Thomberg's still have no definite plans for tomorrow (New Year's Eve).

Wishing you all a SAFE New Year's Eve, whatever your plans.

Monday after Christmas

It is the Monday after Christmas. Daycare Cindy is off this week, so I am also off this week. It is great to have time away, and time with my children. All is quiet at 7:40 am. In general, we have had a quiet Christmas... which can be mournful to me actually.

We had a great Christmas Day with Mark's immediate family. We cruised up to Kelly's, socialized, ate and opened gifts! Everyone had a very nice time.

Beyond that, we have been here at home. I hear co workers and friends talk about heading to their parent's house, hanging out, and spending a few nights, even those that live nearby...and then I get a little sad.

You see if my mom were here (and well) we would probably go out to the country and spend a few days, just like everyone else. We would hang out and probably encounter quick visits with friends and relatives. (Who are are busy with THEIR family.) Weather wouldn't be an issue. We would do this and that. But alas, there is no where to go. I face this logistical fact every year, multiple times a year, and the long and the short of it is it makes me pretty darn sad - and really disconnected too.

It isn't so much that I miss our actual house at the farm. It is just that things are really different when your mom dies (even if it was 9 years ago). Today I miss her as "Grandma," when I use to miss her as "Mom". And...for me at least, the natural born 'gatherer' and entertainer of the family is gone. I don't know how to fill that role in my space and time in life.

My heart hurts deeply, because I always refer to the country and farm as home...and I guess it may be time to change my definition. But...I really am not ready...and I know I NEVER will be.

Mark has loved every moment of being at our home the past few days - the four of us. He even has today off too. We have had a nice time. A quiet time. I know Mark has truly appreciated it. Why can't I? Why can't I bask in M&D's simple play with their wonderful new toys here at home?

I must learn to appreciate all that I have. I also need to understand the Twinners will be a year older next year, and I suspect we will find more to do then ever, and them more able. I will also work harder to create new traditions for us in the years ahead. Maybe we can gather with Brett and Rachel, and have them spend the night sometime during the course of the holidays.

In the mean time, as I have sat here, thought, re-wrote, and wiped tears... the Twinners are awake - The minutes are slipping by.

Maybe I should make some sausage to go with the pancakes I think Mark may be making upstairs...

'It Came Upon a Midnight Clear'

That is my favorite Christmas song - A traditional hymn, not on the play list of Cool 108 during the holiday season.

Although I am not sure of the page number in the green LBW (Lutheran Book of Worship), I can picture my family on Christmas Eve, holding their books open to 'It Came Upon a Midnight Clear', while standing in a pew of a small, white country church called Trinity, in the very dark county, set out amongst the open, fertile farm land.

Every Christmas Eve the Melberg family would gather - My Dad, his older sister, older brother, and all of my cousins. Jan, Carol, and my mom would take turns hosting. No matter whose house we gathered at, we ate Swedish meatballs, sausage, and cheesy potatoes. Every year in the evening, we travelled the gravel road to Trinity Lutheran for Brett and my Sunday School Christmas program. Every year we sang "Away in a Manager" and my mom's voice would drift above the children's little voices, since she was helping lead us. Every year as we we departing, every child would get a brown paper bag filled with peanuts, a few chocolates, an apple, and an orange. Every year, we travelled back to the host home and opened gifts.

As we got older,and grew beyond Sunday School age, we went to Christmas Eve services at First Lutheran in town (where all the other Melberg's attend), where Uncle Loren sang in the choir.

Last year my aunt and uncle and their family went to Hawaii for Christmas, and we stayed in the metro. Until last year, I had never not been with my cousins and home for Christmas Eve. This year, we were set to return.

But it was snowing...

And the kids desperately needed a nap. You see, they have snotty noses and couldn't forgo a nap, and stay up late too...

So we let them take a condensed nap, tried to dress two toddlers quickly, and finally got all parties buckled into the car, and ON THE ROAD.

We hit the highway, and the car started shaking. Alas... after stopping and starting and checking again, it was only ice stuck in the tire well.

So then we got on one interstate, and the next.We slipped around the on ramp, and it just didn't seem safe...

We exited off....

I called my Dad to alert him we weren't coming. As I disconnected I began to cry. We changed direction to return home. I called my Aunt Jan, disconnected again, and sobbed in earnest...

And so we headed to our own church and worshipped as our family of 4 at Peace Lutheran. After, we stopped by the "Wings Joint" nearby to pick up an unconventional dinner. Their neon sign was bright - beaconing us to hot, fried food we didn't have to prepare ourselves at 5:15 pm. Next we hit the Red Box for movies. We ate, the kids opened one gift (a childhood tradition of both Mark and I), and we had a fire.

At the end of the night, I am 98% sure we would have made the journey to Jan's and back with out incident. I am equally sure Mark and I made the right decision earlier in the afternoon to stay closer to home.

When all was very quiet on Christmas Eve, after my stuffy nosed kids were sound asleep... after enjoying a warm fire.... after sipping wine with Mark...

I spent time sitting on my couch in my quiet living room, watching the snow fall gently in the middle of the great big metro area.

In my head, 'It Came Upon a Midnight Clear' was being played by Gail Grim on the pipe organ, in the middle of the dark county, in a small,white Lutheran church...

This Christmas, I am faithful.

It came upon the midnight clear,

That glorious song of old,

From angels bending near the earth,

To touch their harps of gold;

“Peace on the earth, good will to men,

From Heaven’s all gracious King.”

The world in solemn stillness lay,

To hear the angels sing.

A Christmas Storm...

Well, tomorrow we are suppose to be driving home to Hector and back. We hope to attend the Christmas Eve service at 5 pm at First Lutheran, and go to my Aunt Jan's after. We hope to drive back that night. Laura has kindly offered us a place to stay should we want to come earlier, and her special consideration of her metro cousins (in law) is kindly appreciated.

On Christmas Day, we are suppose to be celebrating with Mark's family at noon at Kelly's.

In the mean time, with a forboding weather forcast looming, I am stocking the fridge and pantry with supplies to make lasagna, an egg bake, chex mix and carmel puff corn. I will probably pick up a small ham and the ingredients for those cheesy hash brown potatoes I love. Just in case...

God may have alternate holiday plans in mind for us Minnesotans. For once, I will try to just let it be what it will be. I will prepare. I will pack accordingly if we head west. But, I will desperately try not to worry too much about where or when in the next three days.

Truthfully, I have worried greatly and at length about what I have not done or accomplished for and with my family and children this holiday season (cookies, festivities, time with extended family, and so forth). Maybe the impending storm will be a message for me to take to heart.

Our Christmas Card

Every year Mark and I become obsessed with our Christmas card. It's our personal thing. We try to find just the right card design to match just the right photos. In past years, I may have been known to stop in at Target, Walgreens, Walmart, etc. checking out everyones background selections. For several years, I printed them on the machine at Archivers. Last year we had family photos in November and paid a rather pretty penny to get them printed from the photographer. This year, I mentioned we had family photos taken with Deitrick Gesk. He gives you a CD after the shoot, so we used Shutterfly. Deitrick's photos also graced our Christmas cards the year we got engaged, and the following year with our wedding photo. Two years in a row, our now brother-in-law Pat took our photos. One year I was showing off my very round belly, the next year the Twinners were in matching Land's End sweaters and hats. That card had blue and red snowflakes. The backround was a red barn and Mark had on a blue sweater in the same tone. You get the picture!

With out further ado, here is this year's card, printed through Shutterfly. Unlike the actual card you may have received in the mail, the colors are washed out. I never did figure out how to take the image off Shutterfly, but my cousin Laura kindly scanned and e mailed it to me.

As for a Christmas letter, I did not write one the past two years. Because I blog, I just didn't feel I had anything to say, even though I know my blog is not so interesting that many of my card recievers read. I may go back to a tradition letter in the years ahead. I do enjoy getting them!

Every year we put several copies of our Christmas card in our little fireproof safe box. They are treasures to us and we love to examine them all in each passing year.

To all of you who send us cards and photos, they are a blessing to recieve.

Christmas with the Melberg's

This Saturday I had my family for our holiday gathering. Here is our pictorial review.

Let's start with the element Brett has deemed most important - a fine piece of red meat. I was chatting with Brett on the phone in the early afternoon and he said to make sure and take a 'before' photo.

I purchased my prime rib at a meat market/liquor store called Morelli's on Payne Avenue in St. Paul. This is neighborhood HOT SPOT know for the best liquor prices in all of the metro. It is kind of like taking a step back in time. I dropped in after work on Friday, and the place was packed with customers and staff. There is a police officer directing traffic in and out of the lot, they do NOT accept credit cards (I had my old school checkbook in hand), they do have coupons on line, and they offer carry out service. My co worker clued me in to their booming business. Her fiance is one of their liquor representatives. Saturday morning I had to run to our nearby Mills Fleet Farm to get a roasting pan with rack. I am sure we once had one, but I have no idea where it might have gone...They have EVERYTHING at Mills Fleet Farm!

Friday evening and Saturday morning I was wee bit anxious. How will I get everything done just right? I usually take my anxiety out on Mark, who remains calm. He knows I will get it all done. To combat my nerves, he decided the best thing he could do on Saturday morning was to take the kids and go run errands at Lowe's and etc. By 10:15 am I was calm again. Later in the day, Mark also cleaned, decorated, and set up the lower level while I cooked and worked on the upstairs. Everyone was dressed and waiting even before the guests arrived. There was plenty of time to pour ourselves a cocktail!

Here I am - proud to be cutting the meat, which I packed in a harb/salt paste many hours earlier.

While I was cutting, Chris was pouring champagne. What a lovely evening.

I served a sour cream horseradish sauce, fresh green beans drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with kosher salt, smashed red potatoes with fresh parsley and grated Parmesan cheese, and rosemary potato bread.

Gift opening. I served Poinsettia champagne cocktails (see flute with the reddish drink on the table on the right) made with Grand Marnier orange liquor, which I picked up for a great price while at Morelli's.

Rachel.
Mark playing with Marly's Dora camera that goes with her Dora book.

Tonka toys - we suspect Dean can play with them outside next summer when they get their swing set!

Of course Marly loves dollies! Brett and Dad named this one 'Inga'.

Below - Marly in dress up clothing she got as a gift from Nana and Papa.

Afterwards we returned upstairs for dessert. Rachel brought a chocolate cheese cake.

This year, like every year... I am thankful for my supportive, kind and loving family, who are near me and very, very dear all year round.